Where's the Future That I Was Promised!

"-Amateur" (amateur) 11/11/2013 at 09:30 • Filed to: None

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Every generation sees a glimpse of the future when a manufacturer stretches their imagination and envisions what the future car will look like. Then reality sets in and I've been lied to.

When we split the atom, it dawned that we can harness this power in a way that doesn't kill people. Haha, silly designers...putting atom powered cars on the road. The future was nuclear powered and it would seem like an awesome powerplant for your local grocery getter...As a nation, we could tell OPEC to suck it. Let's just say Tesla battery fires would be the least of our worries if this came to fruition. The Ford Nucleon was looking at 5,000 miles before the fuel rods were spent and in need of swapping out. Where those rods went for proper and safe disposal was never really talked about...I guess littering in the local lake is out of the question.

I for one am still waiting for a turbine car. Chrysler had the right idea and quite frankly it's still a very viable idea today. Sure it drinks fuel like water, but it's so silky smooth and has stratospheric rpms. It's also amazing because it's different. Piston engines are too mainstream. Rotaries are pretty underground as far as I'm concerned, yet there are quite a lot of people in the know when it comes to rotaries. Turbine cars would be so underground, it be like fight club. You all know the first and second rules of fight club, right?

Hydrogen cars have always been the talk of the future for as long as I have lived. Water powered cars sounds like a no brainer, yet it's still uber expensive for you and me.

GM had their 1966 Electrovan concept that touted this future tech. If this walking meth lab blew, it could blow its chunks as far as a quarter mile...it was literally a bomb on wheels. Probably a smart move by GM to limit testing off public roads and away from journalistic use...Matt Hardibro managed to lean on his GM connections to get permission to do a Jalopnik review on the Electovan, when challenged by Jason that he couldn't drift this 3 1/2 ton van, Matt's final words were " Hold my beer ."

The 70's promised me that wedge shaped cars were the future. In a sense, they kind of were. Then, in the interest of safety, the wedge profile didn't last...god help you if you were a pedestrian. Legs are overrated anyways.

Cheesecake slice shaped cars, why have you forsaken me!

The 80's quintessentially told me the future went two ways. Either smooth and silky or cool and blocky.

Every car from like every manufacturer had this sleek organic shape; long and low slung, with a bubble canopy style greenhouse or they portrayed the future with Tron-like cubism. Still looks awesome today, what the hell happened?

See, Back to the Future Ford Probe gets it.. .kill...me...

The 90's told me the future was looking grim. I mean, there really wasn't anything that stood out that could give me a hint of what to expect.

I guess GM had their electic car prophesy with the EV1. Electric cars are hot and happening now but I don't personally believe for them to be the future. I think they will forever be a niche thing. I guess we'll just have to see.

I mean, their EV1 ad creeped me the hell out when it came to the future!

Whatever, the 90's gave me the F50. That's all the past, present, and future I'll ever need.

There are things I'm actually glad never materialized, like are flying cars.

Ha, can you imagine how silly we'd look in flying cars. We have enough problems with reckless drivers and drunks that it be that much worse in the air. If your car breaks down, you can pull over to the side of the road. With the flying car, godspeed and may the odds forever be in your favor. Besides flying cars aren't good at either things, driving or flying. Still, it would make for some cool world's wildest police chases footage.

I'm so glad that the Pontiac Aztek didn't materialize is what I would be saying if I didn't sabotage the future for everyone. When I saw this concept at the Chicago Auto Show when I was younger, they had a kiosk with personal input cards for the Aztek. I wrote that they should build it and that it looked really cool.

Today, the future is touting self-driving cars.

I hope I don't live long enough where this catches on and eradicates driving life as I know it.

For every generation, the future is always touted as now. Enjoy it, because once the future actually does arrive, it can be for better or worse...but you won't know until you get there.

photos credited to their respective owners

MIATAAAA > -Amateur 11/11/2013 at 09:35

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Toyota actually made this. It was called "The Previa".

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > MIATAAAA 11/11/2013 at 09:53

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For your reminder.

Sn210 > -Amateur 11/11/2013 at 10:09

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I didn't realize that GM's Autonomy "skateboard" car was only 10 years ago, it seems forever ago. I feel like fuel cell technology was big in the early 00's

phenotyp > Sn210 11/11/2013 at 10:45

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Take a look at the Partnership for a New Generation of Vehicles . The Big Three (or 2.5, I guess, at the time) whinged that it was too expensive to develop new technologies on their own, so the government made them work together to develop hybrids, diesels, and hydrogen fuel cell cars that met increasingly stringent fuel, emissions, and recyclability requirements.

There were some pretty cool cars from that era, like the GM Precept:

which has a cool story behind it; and the Chrysler ESX3:

but damned if they didn't kill the program in 2001.

Sir Halffast > MIATAAAA 11/15/2013 at 17:03

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Actually, it was called the Pontiac Trans Sport.

Matt Brown > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 17:08

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Today I learned that in the future, everything will look like a cheese wedge or a suppository.

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 17:10

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I would totally rock a Pepto-colored car if it looked like this.

m2m, apex detective > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 17:11

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'Sup.

MIATAAAA > Sir Halffast 11/15/2013 at 17:17

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Looks more like a Previa than any Tran Sport that ever existed.

Sir Halffast > MIATAAAA 11/15/2013 at 17:23

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Sigh. It WAS in the concept phase, but seriously. Why would Toyota make a Pontiac?

Mustang 'DontHitTheCrowd' GT > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 17:30

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I could not agree more with what you said.
Now corny ugly things like this are the future, apparently.

^ shit like that'll revoke your mancard

Burner > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 17:37

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Nothing stood out in the 90's? I'll just leave these here:

Tyrnah > m2m, apex detective 11/15/2013 at 17:41

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What is that? I really like it.

killerkoolaid37 > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 17:58

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Beetle! :D

Ian Duer (320b) > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:12

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1989 Ford Probe from the look of these mirrors. 90 and later had an indent.

Rust-y > Burner 11/15/2013 at 18:23

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The Chrysler Atlantic, yes please. If you're going to go retro, do it right.

Rust-y > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 11/15/2013 at 18:24

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I actually still really like the design of this car.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:28

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Man, just look at those taillights!

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:28

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AUGH WHY

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:30

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So it only seats two, requires a buttload of equipment to work properly, and exploded easily?

Still better than the Flybo.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:31

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I can almost hear the broken kneecaps now...

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:32

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Low visibility, high fashion.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:32

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LOVE these chunky tires.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:32

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OH MY GOD, SO MUCH WANT!

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:32

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Very cool.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:32

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...Wait, what?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:32

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Ergh.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:33

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Bubbletop?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:33

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I bet it's a Renault.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:33

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wat

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:33

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Oddly appealing, but swap the rims.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:36

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...Go on.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:36

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Wait wat?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:42

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Integra?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:42

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Kind of abrupt.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:42

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Again: Integra?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:42

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Hey, not bad.

yurikaze > Mustang 'DontHitTheCrowd' GT 11/15/2013 at 18:42

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I've owned 3 Miatas. What is this "mancard" everyone speaks of?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:42

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One-seater Stingray?

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:45

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How could anyone NOT like this? It's so happy!

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:45

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KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:46

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This picture was taken just before a pigeon was shredded by a propeller.

Maxaxle > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 18:46

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Get rid of the gills, and I'd probably drive it.

Maxaxle > killerkoolaid37 11/15/2013 at 18:48

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I was always kinda perplexed by the stock beetle. Or maybe it's a '96 Fusca?
http://jalopnik.com/how-a-former-b…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Gary Yogurt > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 19:08

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I still have the August 1990 Motor Trend with the Sunfire concept on the cover. I must have thumbed through that issue a thousand times. I remember reading that GM planned to sell it starting 1995-1996, which would have put the release around my 16th birthday. This was my "realistic" dream car for the first half of the 1990s.

Mustang 'DontHitTheCrowd' GT > yurikaze 11/15/2013 at 19:09

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Nah man you're fine. You still have your mancard because Miata, therefore cancelling out what you're mentioning.

JohnPlayerSpecial > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 19:14

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What is this car?

JohnPlayerSpecial > yurikaze 11/15/2013 at 19:26

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Don't worry, the Miata doesn't revoke your mancard.

JohnPlayerSpecial > m2m, apex detective 11/15/2013 at 19:26

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I want a white XL1 so bad......

GarageWoolery > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 19:32

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Cars sold by the Hot Dog On A Stick franchise?

Burner > JohnPlayerSpecial 11/15/2013 at 19:42

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Pontiac Pursuit. I remember this from Popular Mechanics looooong ago.

You can see where GM used some of the design direction towards their Saturn division.

DPillar > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 19:59

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Pontiac Sunfire anyone?!

Burner > Burner 11/15/2013 at 20:07

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To counter point the second part of the statement, where nothing "gave a hint of what to expect", all these came true in some form or another.

Chrysler Atlantic predicted the modernized retro car

Dodge Copperhead showed that an awesome design can be ruined by a pathetic V6 (Plymouth Prowler)

Dodge Sidewinder predicted the convertible 'sports' truck (Chevy SSR)

Volkswagen W12 showed that Volkswagen was going to build a supercar with a W platformed engine(duh..Veyron)

GT90 showed Ford was going to resurrect a modernized GT40(Ford GT)

Audi Avus predicted... chrome wraps on cars.

See, they all came true!

Burner > DPillar 11/15/2013 at 20:21

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JohnPlayerSpecial > Burner 11/15/2013 at 20:27

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Wow. This car looks insane....and yes I see the resemblance

thancr > MIATAAAA 11/15/2013 at 20:33

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You all lost me...trolling? My first thought was the same as MIATAA's, it looks a lot like a Previa, closer to the looks of the Previa than how the Trans Sport ended up.

photosbyjohnwiley > DPillar 11/15/2013 at 20:47

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I liked the Banshee better. I suppose it became the last Firebird.

Gargleheinz > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 20:55

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Outfit looks like a Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick Fast Food Location Professional.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > JohnPlayerSpecial 11/15/2013 at 21:20

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How did it turn?!

T-800 > photosbyjohnwiley 11/15/2013 at 21:20

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Really it became more the next Camaro, there are more banshee traits in the Camaro then the firebird.

Dr. Steve Brule > DPillar 11/15/2013 at 22:14

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Pontiac BUTTFIRE.

Alexander Botts > -Amateur 11/15/2013 at 22:55

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I WANT MY HOVERCAR CONVERSION. Clocks tickin'...:)

Capt. Janeway's Imaginary Cat > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 00:11

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Oh wow the Portofino. I remember that from an issue of R&T. It looked so futuristic back then. It still does somewhat but it definitely has dated design elements like the headlights.

Capt. Janeway's Imaginary Cat > Burner 11/16/2013 at 00:14

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Audi Avus is one of the greatest designs even by today's standards.

Capt. Janeway's Imaginary Cat > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 00:16

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Pontiac Banshee, my first appreciation of what a concept car is.

Kylemaro > Burner 11/16/2013 at 00:34

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3rd one looks eerily like a chevy ssr

Paul-Michael Van Hook > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 00:48

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I love this roof-mounted wiper idea! Obviously it was hardly a new idea, but it does look rather good. And why the hell didn't they make the Trans Sport look more like this? I'd want one even today!!!

4thwall > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 02:59

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Seems appropriate

86it > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 08:17

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Mobile meth lab?

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Rust-y 11/16/2013 at 10:06

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Same here, the only people carrier whose looks I dig.

404 - User No Longer Available > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 11:49

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Erm...

m2m, apex detective > JohnPlayerSpecial 11/16/2013 at 12:28

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I'm sure they'll showcase the Ducati-engined XL1 eventually. Better get that one. ;)

m2m, apex detective > Tyrnah 11/16/2013 at 12:30

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VW XL1 ... a hypermiling ex-project car that's now evaluated for real-world use.

The neighbourhood I live in houses a VW engineer who came from work in an XL1 one day. I took some shots of it and wrote a bit about the car ... http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/dots-my-neighb… if you're interested.

Dan1028 > killerkoolaid37 11/16/2013 at 14:20

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Don't forget Centauri's car right in front of it!

DarthDuster > -Amateur 11/16/2013 at 20:25

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FWIW the Lamborghini Portofino essentially became the Chrysler LH cars, which were incredibly daring and influential at the time.

killerkoolaid37 > Dan1028 11/17/2013 at 04:49

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Oh holy shit, that's THAT car??? I had no idea!!! NERGASM!!!

fhrblig > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 11/17/2013 at 10:08

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I liked them too, the Silhouette the most. Except for the acres of dashboard.

Bazza, Delta Blues Man > -Amateur 11/19/2013 at 11:55

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cool stuff, I hope I'm not speaking imprudently when I say Jalopnik should identify cars they post pictures of in articles, and without overtly wikipediaising things, perhaps include the odd link to the source image/info